I only did a mile walk yesterday but I am finally down to 270, I took some pictures and I can see a major difference in my appearance. I've got a lot on my mind today and I am going to just do some strength training, I may do some running this evening or tonight if I just really need to clear my mind.

I'd also like to get up to losing 5lbs a week, although I am not complaining at the 2.6 lbs a week I just know I can do better. I'm considering starting to eat clean and I've REALLY got to get my calorie intake up, after I eat my steel-cut oats in the morning I'm just usually not that hungry the rest of the day. So maybe I need to work out harder.

I also want to say, I do not promote anorexia, I don't mean to eat such little calories my body just isn't hungry. I've been overweight my entire life, I've been teased and picked on. What I am promoting is losing weight the healthy way, I am not doing this as a "thinspo" I am doing this to get strong, and fit for my child and mostly myself.

I want people to finally see me and judge me for who I really am, not the fat lazy girl. I also feel like I get picked last for job's because of my appearance and weight. I've always considered myself pretty, without make up, but I've also always been fat. A lot of people don't guess my actual weight because I carry it so well.

I am going to go work out for a bit...

Rest

I am going to to rest today, I may work out but it will be minor stuff or house work today. Friday was my full day of rest and having run both days this weekend then walked a mile my muscles are aching. I did wake up to weigh myself and found I am finally down to 270!

I've started adding 2 tblspoons in my water of ACV and it isn't actually that bad and I will see if it has any results...

And so far I can only run 1/10th of a mile. I thought about doing the couch potato to 5k but I'm not sure I can handle the running/walking yet. I may try it tomorrow as that is my next running day. I am just glad to be back on the weight loss...

Sleepy Mommy & Baby

So there is something wrong with my son, I'm not sure what but he hasn't been eating like normal and even has been refusing to eat. And all through the night wakes up every hour and won't go back to sleep without milk. It's making mommy very sleepy and making it hard for me to get motivated to workout.

I wish I knew what was wrong with him, we may need to go see the pediatrician. Once Dada gets up, Mommy is going to go for a short run and see if that makes me feel a bit better. I wish coffee would help but it's just not enough...

Lesson learned

I used to wear my vibram's every single day all day all the time. I haven't wore them in a few months, I went running in them today. Not a good idea, I  could feel it. I need to work on my feet muscles and start wearing my vibrams for everything, if I plan on running.


I've noticed also, for some reason, my right hip (baby carrying hip) hurts so bad. Here's hoping tomorrow is better and I can do better..

Irritated...

I am very aggravated this morning. I haven't been regular either so that may be part of my issue, but my scales said 275 today. I've been working out every day, except yesterday, which may be my issue. I am also trying to consume more calories, probably 1100 a day... which I usually only eat 700 a day, I know it sounds weird for my weight. I just got back from a run I pushed myself to run .5 miles and then walked another mile just because I felt guilty for not being able to run more.

I am so tired of living like this, fat and icky. I'm doing everything I can, I eat steel-cut oats every morning for breakfast with PB in them for protein, I also have a green smoothie every day. I even drink a gallon of water every day, sometimes more. I am even trying to make breakfast my biggest meal and then have my small smoothie for dinner. I would like to believe I am gaining muscle because everything fits better despite the weight gain, but I've also heard that is pure BS. Ultimately I'd like to get down to 150, unless I had muscle and looked good at a higher or lower weight.

I can do this, and I just don't need to give up. I just need to keep pushing harder and harder. I will probably work out again today on the kinect just because I feel like I've failed a bit. I wish I had some encouragement.

The Beginning

I've been on my journey for about 2 weeks now, I've lost a total of 8lbs I started at 279 lbs. That is the heaviest weight I have ever been. I can't use the excuse it was because I had a kid, because I lost 30lbs while I was pregnant and when I delivered I was 232lbs. I've gained 50 since my son was delivered. I suffered through PPD and just felt hopeless. I am a stay at home mom so sometimes I feel trapped.

None of that matters anymore. I've set my mind to it and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am posting all the pictures now, as I am because I need to be motivated. I don't consider this a diet, this is a life change. I've started running and I can run a mile in about 13mins, which isn't great but at 271lbs I can run a mile. I plan to sign up for a 5k race soon. I've also been lifting weights.

This is my first blog, so please bare with me if you do happen to read this.